embracing my "in between"

Cobalt Blue top available in store  at Target on major sale : Similar | Satin Straight legged pants : Similar | Patent Leather pumps: Similar | White button-down : Ann Taylor Loft

I hope you guys had a great weekend! Ours was busy cleaning and organizing things around our place. We also started the process of relocating (wherever that will be) but it's pretty exciting to get the home ownership ball rolling!

As we were organizing I stared at my mound of pre-pregnancy jeans. I have so many cute jeans that I miss (oh so much!). Especially a pair of distressed skinnies that my sister gave me a while back. I'm not even sure why I decided to try on the pair. It must've been a short bout of amnesia as the pair is at least 2 sizes smaller than I am now. But I was feeling crazy... so I tried them on. Took a deep breath and held it as long as I could. Then let out a huge exhale when they didn't get passed my thighs.

As I slowly took the jeans off and held them in the air I couldn't help but feel defeated. I'm not sure why but I felt like I lost something. In the process of me trying on those jeans I felt a sense of urgency to fit back into that size. I have realized that the idea of getting back into those jeans (into my pre-pregnancy size) is stealing the joy of embracing the sizes in between.  A part of learning to embrace where you are now is learning how to let go of who you were before. And realizing that who you are now is the direct result of all of the experiences that brought you here. And for a lot of you gals it was having a baby.

 Believe me I know it's easier said than done. And you're probably asking your self well how the heck do I do that?! And honestly I'm still learning it as I go. I have to consciously remind myself [often] that I just had a baby. And that my body is not bouncing back as fast as before. And that doesn't mean that I'm some sort of failure or that I've lost the battle of getting fit. I have realized that the only one putting time limits on myself is me. If I want to embrace my size and these wider hips I have to start telling myself that how I look now is even more beautiful than before. Not only because I truly believe it but because now I have another cooing sweet little babers to show for it. And that sweet little guy is so much more significant than a pair of old ripped skinnies that I can find in a bigger size to wear now.

I'm writing this for myself as much as for any other momma reading this. You are more beautiful than ever before and you will find a way to embrace your in between. Because you will realize that what matters in life is not fitting into jeans but loving who you are in every stage of this motherhood process. Don't set a time limit on yourself but please oh please give your self time.


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