la vida currently

There's only three more sleeps till Christmas and I still can't believe it! This month has gone by so fast. This entire year has flown by. And the other day I turned 31. For some reason leading up to 31 was a lot tougher than turning 30. I think it's because of the idea (in my head) that I'm in my 30's now and it's a new era for me in various aspects. I think back at the woman I was at 25 and even 27 and it's really amazing what experience and a whole lot of life does to change, mold, and dare I say it: grow us. I'm also entering my 5th month of pregnancy and let's just add that to the list of things that are flying by! It's all so wild you guys. And I find myself closing my eyes a lot, praying and asking for lots of help and reassurance that everything will be okay. I've had a few people ask me some really unexpected questions now that we are expecting our third bebe. I suppose now that we are expecting our third I'm entering a different realm of parenting, haha! The questions range from the boys age difference (which is not a lot but hey they've never met my mami!) Or how can we handle all of it while B is in residency. For those of you not familiar with physicians in residency it's a unique time. And it's really not much like being an MD out of residency in time, finances, energy, the list goes on. It's also really rare to find families especially as "big" as ours is becoming or our age at this stage of residency. You'll usually find residents a lot younger than we are, unmarried or married without children. Or the kid part happens in the latter part of residency. And that's okay! In so many ways we knew our situation would be different. And I can't blame them for these questions nor can I expect everyone to react to our happy news like I would. We are all naturally curious beings and I think a lot of times we reflect our own fears as judgement towards others. I do it too. I love that the boys are so close in age. Sometimes, it's hard to explain things to Gabriel and expect him to understand because he is not mature enough quite yet. And that's challenging when Cristian is still learning too. The other day Gabriel somehow grabbed my red nailpolish and painted all his nails, clothes and bits of the couch! At first I thought it was blood! But once I realized that he had tried so hard to paint his toes too I realized it was only polish. I could freak out and scream but he has no idea right now. His brain is literally still forming and he just wanted to be like mami. You guys, we have stories like these for days. You know when you hear people say, I wouldn't change it for the world?! It's as cliché as they come but it's so true for me. I wouldn't change it for anything. I love our little chaos and I'm blessed beyond measure. It takes a lot of patience on my part but I love being a mother. It takes a lot of energy, time and love to raise tiny humans and I don't want to ever take it for granted. Some days I am counting down the minutes till bed time then they fall asleep and I sit on the couch thinking back on our day and all the funny things they do. Then I really miss them while they sleep. We are so thrilled to have our third on the way. For us it was never a question that we would try to have more than 2 children. When we found out we were expecting and I held up the positive pregnancy test we were both pretty surprised that it happened as fast as it did. However, that didn't change our excitement or how we've prioritized having children in this stage of our lives. The moment that B and I decided that we would start our family we took into consideration that he would be in medical school (for part of it) and residency for those intense, busy, and joyous early years of our children's lives. Our biggest concern has always been that a lot of the physical, day-to-day business will lay on me as the parent that will stay at home. It's really as simple as that for us and believe me I know that we are fortunate in that aspect. We both came into our marriage with unique world experiences and a lot of living. Our marriage is not perfect but we are perfectly committed to each other and we consider each other equals in every aspect. My staying at home with our boys is just as important as his as a physician. It can be very intense to have B work as much as he does while he's in residency. Especially on days when nothing seems to go right and I don't have any family close by to help out. But that is not the case every day. There is so much more good in our days. Eighty percent of the time I'm too busy with the boys to even think about the minutiae, haha! We've also made some pretty kick-ass friends here who also have kids and are in residency, or are parents with little's like us. Community is so so important. But above anything else, my faith anchors me and that is something that I often cannot find words for but only strive to live out day-by-day. Well my ramblings have gone on... and for those of you that have made it this far, thank you. I really appreciate you all. I sincerely hope that these days leading up to Christmas bring lots of love, laughter and family to you! It really is such a special time of year. ¡Feliz Navidad!