The other day I looked over at our front shelf where we put our keys and noticed the huge pile of magazines that I used to love reading. I would flip through the pages and find ideas and for a few minutes I would escape the bitter cold of the Midwest and be transported to some exotic location (where of course I envision going some day). But the truth is I have had very little down time since Cristian was born to myself. Between mi amor not being home because of his demanding schedule and an even more demanding soon to be two year old my days are full of toddler meltdowns. These meltdowns are courtesy of Gabriel not wanting any help from me and at the same time wanting help from me. Add to the mix a newborn with a very different set of needs that require me to nurse him every hour to two while he experiences yet another growth spurt. Which leaves me absolutely exhausted at the end of the day. Let's not even talk about the current state of our apartment.
And I realize this sounds like a complete pity party but it's the truth. The boys have been sick for over a week and I've become a pro at cleaning snot from our couches. And to add insult to injury I always find some random quote that says, "Embrace the moment or else.." blah blah blah... And yes I sympathize with the writer because yes we are not promised another moment with our little ones. But what these Pinterests quotes never explain is how in the heck do you embrace the moment when you're changing another up-the-back poop explosion and are setting your toddler on time-out for the umpteenth time?! How do they expect me to embrace poop?! And how in the world do I find the joy in doing these things?!
I've come to realize that embracing the moment doesn't mean you're going through life living in a bubble of bliss. Where everything is rosy dosey and you're obliviously smiling through your two-year-old pulling your hair. Or exhaling "om" while your newborn starts learning to bite (that hurts just as much with or without teeth!). No, no my friends that it NOT what it means to embrace the moment. Embracing the moment means fully being present to whatever emotion you are feeling. It's accepting the anger and realizing that is only temporary. It's realizing that yes you will not have time to read those magazines and that when you begin reading them you will get interrupted at least ten times. Embracing the moment is accepting your current situation and being able to find the good in what is happening. It's finding perspective by acknowledging how fleeting these moments truly are.
My husband finished another Peds rotation and some of the stories that he has shared with me often leave me in tears. I ask why would anyone do that? Or how excruciatingly heartbreaking that child was born seriously ill and will not live past their 2 month birthday... Perspective folks. Perspective is the key to embracing the moment. Right now my boys are healthy, can manage speaking to me and or yelling and can poop on their own. Right now my boys can smile and give me the best sloppy kisses. Right now they are living. Momma's it's okay to get upset and have very messy days or weeks in my case. It is okay to not smile through the worse of your little's meltdowns. It is okay and you will be okay.
So yeah those are all of the magazines I haven't been able to read since Cristian was born. But guess which smile I'd rather look at?
Abrazos,
Keila
